Body Image

Where to begin?

Having been caught up through 1/25, that now means I'm 63 items behind on removal!!

I'm not quite that far off because I have given a way a few things in the past weeks.  Let me get caught up...

I pulled out two tri tops, two tri shorts and a one-piece tri suit to donate/discard.  I donated a bathing suit top that was unflattering and a purple long sleeved blouse that I no longer wear.  I dumped a pair of canvas flats that were never even worn out of the house anymore because they were so ratty looking and I donated a pair of heels I'd bought and never even worn.  That brings me to 54 pieces behind so basically caught up through 2/3 (my sister-in-law's birthday).

April 1st (Saturday) brings me to the 6 month mark.  That means, if I can find 54 + 2 more things to give away, I will have removed 183 things from my wardrobe since October 1, 2016.  That's pretty impressive if you consider how little I've bought in that time frame, too.

I will continue to push towards catching up partly this evening and partly this weekend.  The big bin of 'doesn't fit me' clothing and my bin of spring/summer clothes have yet to be opened and purged.  I also realized over the past weekend that I really should purge my outerwear.  I have my favorites  (both winter and spring) but there are other jackets hanging in the downstairs closet that I just don't wear and should be donated.  I also need to purge my bras.  I don't know why there are so many in my drawer when I wear the same three for 99% of the time.

Lately I've been really struggling with body image.  I'm 49 years old and I can tell that the hormones are starting to go a little haywire...so I'm sure that's part of my issue.  Additionally, I'm overweight.  Having been forced inactive for 4 months over the holidays really messed with my fitness trajectory.  In the past few weeks, I've been slowly getting back into healthy living on all fronts.  My nutrition is good (and improving as I workout more regularly) and this week will be my first week with three OTF workouts in one week! I've had to ramp this up very carefully to avoid triggering alignment issues again. The problem is that I am 10 lbs over where I was when I stopped working out (and I'm 20lbs over where I belong).  It's not THAT much, but it's enough.  The 10 extra pounds are actually a big problem because they push me to the edge (and over, in many things) of where my current clothes will fit. And I already got rid of all my 'fat' clothes.  Nothing sucks more than having everything you own be unflattering and uncomfortable. It sucks that I can't wear yoga pants to work!  Add to that the looming vacation (we are traveling to Hawaii in mid-May) and I can't help but get anxious about myself and as a result, I'm fighting the blues.

My resolution?  Buy something.  I know it breaks the rules and it sounds stupid, but it's important to me that I look decent/feel comfortable in what I'm wearing.  In the past couple of weeks I've purchased a pair of jeans, a knit skirt and two blouses for work wear.  I also ordered a few versions of a plain black bathing suit bottoms that can be worn with my already owned tops in Hawaii.  I'll only keep the best one and return the rest but I can't expect to lose 20 lbs by mid May to fit into the one I own.  And lastly, I ordered a pair of work pants and two dresses for a new career trip at the end of April.  I don't think I can wear jeans, so a single pair of work pants and a single skirt won't get me through the whole 4 days of events no matter how creative I get.  In the past when I've gotten to this point, I bought a few new things, wore them, starting feeling better about myself, and then started losing weight again only to end up donating those large items a few months down the road.  May my pattern prove true once again.

Oh, did I say new career?  I did!  I'm leaving that tidbit for another post.  For now, know that I made it almost 6 months without buying anything and had I not gained 10 lbs and made a career change at the same time, I might have made it the full year.  This challenge does not end here though.  Not by a long shot!  I will likely use my $500 gift card to buy work-related clothing before I start my new job, but that's not for a few months.  Until then, I'm cutting off my own spending.  No more clothing.  And the item removals will continue unabated.